


How Hux Copes

by General Ginger (ShinigamiKnox)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Sex, And pro-active, Bottom Hux, Comfort, Hux copes in a very childish manner, Kylo becomes supportive, M/M, Meant to be more sensual than sexual, Quick Handjob, Thumb-sucking, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, definitely a lot of fluff, top kylo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-07-26 06:18:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7563571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinigamiKnox/pseuds/General%20Ginger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo discovers Hux has childish tendencies, namely thumb-sucking as a way to cope with stress and to comfort himself. Instead of teasing him, he tries to understand. When all else fails, why not get some first-hand experience? (And yes, I do think I'm quite punny).</p><p>This isn't supposed to be sexual, that wasn't the goal of this fic. It's not ageplay or anything like that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I WOULD JUST LIKE TO FORMALLY APOLOGIZE FOR THIS FIC.
> 
> I truly didn't want to upload it, even under a pseud name, because, well, you can still see my actual username too. But, hey, what's life if you're not a little weird? Life's too short to be super ashamed.
> 
> Also, this is the first story to give you an idea of what'll be posted here on this pseud. Seriously, nothing good will happen here. This name is for the weird, strange things I write that have no place on ShinigamiKnox. I think there'll be an apology tagged on every fic written under this name, truthfully.

Kylo didn’t know how he found himself in the situation he was currently in. He certainly wasn’t complaining, but the events that had led up to such an encounter he had never expected.

It began with the tense working relationship between him and General Hux. That was promptly dealt with, inevitably, the men fell into bed with each other after a particularly heated argument. That was the beginning of their sexual relationship. It hadn’t meant to be anything more than just that, a stress relief, but both men became guilty of staying the night instead of skipping out before morning. It wasn’t exactly a loving relationship, but it would be the closest either man had come to having such an affair.

After a particularly hard night, Kylo decided he wanted to skip sex, but he wanted the general’s company. It wouldn’t be difficult, Hux was usually fast asleep this late at night. He decided he would just sneak into his partner’s quarters and slip into bed with him. It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. He had spent the night in Hux’s bed countless times before.

However, this particular night, Hux was just about drifting off, caught in a place between a deep sleep and awareness when Ren’s weight dipped into the empty side of the bed. He was promptly met with the sleepy face of Hux (after his eyes had adjusted to the low lighting), half covered by his closed fist near his mouth, looking more relaxed than Kylo had ever seen him without an orgasm as pretense.

It took Kylo a couple seconds to realize the general, older than he was, a prominent figure in the First Order, his co-commander, was sucking his thumb like a child. In those few seconds, Hux was brought to full awareness of the situation, whipped his hand away from his face and pushed Kylo back hard enough to push him out of the bed completely.

“Ren! You—Why are you here?” Hux asked, his voice half-panicked, half furious.

“I was lonely,” Kylo said with a steady expression. Part of him wanted to tease Hux, absolutely, but part of him, the protective part that had come to care about Hux over these last few months, wanted to just ignore the childish behavior and leave Hux have his dignity completely intact.

There was a tense silence between them where neither man moved a muscle, waiting to see the others’ reaction. Hux expected teasing, truthfully. There was no way Kylo had not seen. He would tease Hux mercilessly about the old habit. He was in his thirties, for Force sake.

Kylo wanted to tell Hux it was okay, but at the same time, didn’t want to upset Hux. He didn’t understand such a vice. He had long since given up any childish comforts and thought Hux would have, too.

Hux’s face was hot. He was tense and tired. He would have given almost anything to be able to turn back time just a couple minutes, before Ren had walked in.

Kylo finally lifted himself up and back into Hux’s bed with a soft caress of Hux’s cheek. Hux slapped his hand away. “It’s too late for sex,” Hux insisted when Kylo’s hand rested on his hip.

“I know.” Kylo nodded with a soft kiss to Hux’s lips. He didn’t let himself relax into the kiss, not without knowing if Kylo would make fun of him or not. “Pretend I’m not here,” Kylo murmured. Hux heard the implied ‘go back to what you were doing’ and felt himself flush.

“I don’t need your permission,” Hux heard himself saying defensively. His voice gave a weak quiver and he felt sick to his stomach. Kylo pressed another kiss to Hux’s lips.

“I know,” he repeated. After a long pause, he finally got up the nerve to inquire, “Why?”

“Why what?” Hux really didn’t want to answer a question Ren hadn’t meant to ask.

“Why do you do it?” Still the uncomfortable ambiguity.

“Why do I do what?” Hux parroted back weakly.

“Please don’t make me say it,” Kylo groaned. Even thinking the term made him squeamish for some reason. He never expected someone like Hux to have this problem. “Why didn’t you stop like most children?” he settled on. It was still unclear, but clear enough that Hux couldn’t keep dodging the topic.

Hux pushed himself out of Kylo’s grasp. “Just didn’t,” he said curtly.

“Surely there’s no reason to it?” Kylo kept pushing.

Hux shrugged. “Other than comfort, no,” he replied honestly.

“Comfort?” Kylo felt the need to caress his cheek again. He watched as Hux leaned ever so slightly into his hand.

“Yes,” he said in a sigh. Kylo let a weak wave of the Force pass into Hux, encouraging him to be a little more open and unashamed with his responses.

“You seek comfort? Why not just come to me?”

“It’s…different. Sex is comforting in a much different way.”

“I’m sure,” Kylo nodded as if he understood. “Can you really not get that comfort somewhere else? I can…hold you, if that would help.”

“No. I mean, yes, it would help, but it would be different. It’s kind of like an oral fixation. It relaxes me.” Hux bit his tongue before he could continue.

“So a stylus may be used as a substitute?” Surely biting the end of a stylus would be better than…than _sucking his thumb_.

“In theory, I suppose. Still, smoking, chewing the end of a stylus, even sucking on candy really isn’t the same though. Those are the kind of things you can do in public.”

“You enjoy the alone time, then.”

“Yes. Very much so.” Hux flushed. Why did he add that? Why did he even answer in the first place?

“I don’t get it, but I suppose I don’t need to,” Kylo admitted. “I just didn’t expect such a childish habit.” Kylo settled down under the covers on his side, facing Hux. “Does it really feel that good?”

Hux glared at Kylo as he settled down, too. Kylo reached out to brush Hux’s cheek again, repeating the slight energy tactic he had used before. Hux’s glare quickly faded to a neutral expression appearing to be more relaxed.

“Yes,” Hux simply said.

“You can. If you want, I mean.”

“I don’t,” Hux said honestly. “It’s not a constant desire,” he found himself explaining. “Nor is it something I wish to do in the company of others, especially you.”

“Especially me?”

“You would be the harshest of them all, I believed.”

“I’m not. I just didn’t think you of all people needed comfort.”

“I’m human, Ren.”

“I’m beginning to see that, General.”

“Don’t. Don’t call me that, not here, not now.” He felt himself flushing with shame, again. How could he even think to be called general in this position?

“Okay, Hux.” Kylo ran his thumb along Hux’s cheek slowly. “If you do this every night—“

“I don’t.”

“Still, how have I never noticed it before?”

“Because I really only do it when I’m stressed. After a night with you, I’m not really all that stressed.”

“So I do help.”

“Of course,” Hux replied easier than Kylo would have thought.

“Wait,” Kylo almost sat up at the realization. “Is that what you’re doing every time you took my fingers into your mouth?”

“No!” Hux truly didn’t want Ren sexualizing his behavior. As if he wasn’t already ashamed. “You just…the heat of the moment… I wouldn’t,” Hux settled on. “Really, I wouldn’t. It’s not a sexual response I’m after when I’m alone.” Hux didn’t know how to make Ren understand.

“It helps you get to sleep, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. I still have rather terrible insomnia, but it gives me something to focus on.”

“Well, here. Let’s just go to sleep. I’m sorry I’ve bothered you so much about it.”

Hux pulled the covers up over his shoulders as he turned his back to Kylo. He was wide awake now from the adrenaline and shame of being caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be. Even Ren’s warm embrace didn’t help lull him back to sleep.

He realized he wanted to. He wanted Ren to be asleep so he could without fear of Ren discovering what he was up to. He just wanted that relief for that itch and to be relaxed back into sleep.

With his eyes closed, it was easy to pretend he was alone in his bed, letting the sensation of Ren’s arm around his waist and his warmth against Hux’s back just melt away. He was almost certain Ren had fallen asleep by the time he brought his hand back up towards his mouth. He let the sensation of his lips closing and tongue pressing against skin take over his senses and felt his breathing even out.

Ren shifted slowly, as to not frighten Hux, to stroke his arm slowly. It was the only way he could think of telling him that it was okay. Kylo only regretted not being able to see his peaceful look, settled in behind him.

 

Hux had a tendency not to indulge himself in Ren’s presence. He didn’t exactly feel the need to when Ren was right there to embrace him. It was similar enough to Hux. It was the nights he spent alone that he would give in to his base desires.

So when circumstances led him to the events that had precipitated that night, he was about as surprised as Ren. He would blame Ren’s curiosity, once again.

Kylo had been back to asking questions about Hux’s rather unfortunate oral fixation. Apparently Ren had attempted to get the same sensation out of it that Hux usually got and had been highly disappointed. One thing led to another, which led to another. This led to Kylo’s thoroughly washed hands around Hux while Hux guided Kylo’s hand between both of his hands.

He'd gotten a taste of Ren’s skin quite often, finding himself kissing and licking various parts on his body. He hadn’t expected to be participating in such a sensual, private activity as this in his entire lifetime. He tasted different, cleaner, less musky, less salty.

‘This is so wrong, this shouldn’t be happening,’ Hux’s mind repeated to him through the whole ordeal. Yet as he brought his lips down onto Ren’s thumb, keeping him in place, and his teeth and tongue latching on as if it were his own hand, he almost couldn’t be bothered with those thoughts.

He felt Ren press against his back and expected Kylo to withdraw from Hux’s mouth, but he hadn’t. Instead, he gave a little exclamation of “Oh, wow,” to what Hux figured was his tongue instinctively lapping at the digit in his mouth, a soft suckling that Hux had grown almost insensitive to. With Ren, he was hyper-aware of every movement of his lips and tongue against Ren’s skin. He felt his eyes flutter closed, just as relaxed as he would have been if it were just him.

Ren was aware of how fast his pulse was. He knew he was getting hard from such a sensual act, how could he not? He didn’t particularly want to do anything about it, which surprised him. He just wanted this to continue. Hux’s mouth was soft and wet. His tongue pulsed against the top of his digit as he sucked on Ren. It was…intimate in a way Ren never thought he would be with Hux or with anyone. It felt more intimate than sex.

Kylo buried his nose into the red, fine hairs on Hux’s neck. He didn’t try to turn his pelvis away, nor did he push any further up against Hux. He was surprised Hux hadn’t pulled away with how adamant he was about this not being a sexual experience. It was strange enough already, neither of them wanted to make it sexual.

Hux did reluctantly pull Ren’s arm away and glanced back, his lips wet and somewhat swollen. Ren felt the need to apologize, to explain himself before Hux could accuse him of doing something to make him uncomfortable.

Instead, Hux surprised him by quietly asking if Ren needed a release before continuing. “I refuse to do this with an erection pressing into my back,” Hux had insisted with a dark scarlet blush. Kylo shocked himself with the realization that he actually _wanted_ the encounter to continue.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo finally apologized. Hux turned himself towards Kylo, refusing to press their bodies together yet.

“It’s to be expected, truthfully,” Hux said with the hint of a smile. “You do get rather…enamored when I do take your fingers into my mouth.” He slid a hand into Kylo’s leggings with a soft, “Here, allow me.”

Kylo brought his hand to Hux’s cheek, pulling him into a heated kiss. Hux could feel Kylo’s thumb, still damp with his own saliva, streak across his cheek and couldn’t be bothered with it at the moment.

It didn’t take long at all to bring him off into the swathe of fabric he kept by his bed for this very reason. They both settled back down with Hux’s back against Ren’s chest again. Kylo brought his arm under Hux’s, leaving his hand rest closer to his chest. He let Hux’s hands close around his own and pull him towards his mouth.

“Are you…is this too strange?” Hux decided to ask before he made Ren uncomfortable.

“Strange, yes, definitely. But I don’t want to stop,” Kylo’s voice squeaked at the end of the admission. He pressed his forehead against Hux’s neck. “I’m sorry I got aroused. I’m so used to sensual acts being sexual,” Kylo’s voice was muffled by Hux’s shirt and Hux kept playing with his fingers, opening and closing his hand.

“It’s fine,” Hux said with a slight shrug. “It’ll be better if you relax your arm. Your muscles will probably hurt when we wake up if you keep it so tense.” Hux had pretty much accepted his face was going to be perpetually fevered now. He pulled Kylo’s arm around him more while he shifted so Ren’s hand could rest between Hux’s hands on the pillow.

Hux really wasn’t trying to be overtly sexual with it, but Kylo still jumped a bit when he felt Hux’s mouth latch onto him again. Kylo couldn’t help thinking about the psychology behind such an oral fixation. Something must have happened to Hux as a child to make him maintain this behavior after all these years. It was a wonder his father hadn’t removed the habit as he had with all of the other tendencies children tend to pick up, unless his father didn’t even notice him late at night, curled under his covers, a world all to himself.

He wondered if his parents had tried. Kylo knew Ben’s parents would have never allowed such a trait to persist, if not for Ben’s own good, then to keep him from being teased. Hux, it seemed, had found ways to hide it. Once again, Kylo couldn’t help thinking about Hux in his early twenties, in a room full of other boys, stressed, never alone, desperate for some sort of relief, to just pull the covers over his head and hide for just a little bit.

He was starting to doze off himself with Hux’s slow, affectionate strokes to his hand and wrist, and the soft, silent suckling of Hux’s mouth. Hux’s hands were the first to stop. It was Ren’s first clue that Hux was falling asleep in his arms, followed by the loosening of his lips around his thumb. His tongue still worked against him, no way was Hux conscious enough to be doing it himself. The suckling must have been a psychosomatic response, then, Kylo thought sleepily. Either way, it was relaxing, the constant, steady suckling on his thumb. He could feel the stirrings of his rather latent protective side.

He nuzzled his nose into the crook of Hux’s neck as Hux’s tongue stopped the incessant pulsing. Kylo found himself mourning the loss of feeling until he tried to pull his hand back. Hux was quick to re-latch onto him, his hands grasping Kylo’s with a soft, sleepy whine. Kylo couldn’t stop the smile as his eyes closed and he gave in to the drowsiness.

 

When he woke up the next morning, he noticed he had his arm back to himself but kept it around Hux’s chest. With a soft kiss to the ticklish spot behind Hux’s ear, Hux hummed and shifted back against him.

“You stopped,” Kylo murmured.

“Mmhmm,” Hux nodded sleepily. “Happens when I sleep. You sound disappointed,” Hux pointed out, a tone of confusion and slight smugness.

“Maybe I was. You looked cute.”

Hux sneered. “Don’t call me cute.” So this would be the teasing he had to deal with. He almost didn’t care as long as he would be able to spend every night like this. “What time is it?”

“0452 hours,” Kylo said with a groan. Way too early. Even Hux still had an hour and a half left to sleep.

“Good.” Hux said with a hum. He brought Kylo’s hand back up to his mouth, latching on as easily as he had the night before. He was asleep quicker than Kylo thought possible for Hux or for anyone. Kylo, despite the erection against Hux’s warm presence, snuggled in behind him and drifted off himself, put to sleep by the sweet suckling of Hux’s warm mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

It became a comfort Ren didn’t want to go without, but, similar to sex, he wouldn’t push Hux to do. Ren would leave his hand curled up in a fist against Hux’s chest. If Hux wanted to, and he usually did, he’d pull Ren’s hand to his mouth, his tongue hot against his thumb and teeth clamping down on the base of his digit. It wasn’t an activity Hux did by himself anymore; he shared the pleasure with Ren.

Late at night, when they were closer than ever, Ren’s arm around Hux, Kylo got to hear Hux’s sleepy noises. Some were protests, whines, when Kylo tried to remove his hand before Hux was ready, these were usually ones Hux definitely wasn’t aware off, too far gone towards sleep to realize. Then again, Kylo wasn’t entirely sure Hux was aware of the soft sighs he made while latched onto Kylo.

These nights were completely contradictory. They shouldn’t be happening, Kylo shouldn’t have this luxury of these loving moments, shouldn’t feel such protectiveness over a general of the First Order. Yet, curled up under his arm, Kylo couldn’t help but love his general. He stroked Hux’s hair, causing yet another soft noise of affection. He truly shouldn’t be this _close_ to anyone, let alone Hux.

That didn’t mean their nights were no longer filled with passion, hateful or otherwise. They could just as easily go from throwing each other down onto the mattress, ripping their clothing off, heated kisses paired with just as heated bites, to the sweet, tender moments that got them into a peaceful sleep.

With Ren, the behavior he had come to be ashamed of became almost normalized. He knew Ren took as much pleasure in it as he did. Ren wouldn’t keep offering if he didn’t. What Ren didn’t realize was Hux felt the smiles against his skin when Kylo kissed the back of his neck. He felt the pleased sigh Kylo let off as Hux latched onto him, as he stroked Ren’s arm. It was something that shouldn’t have worked, but did. He felt so loved with Kylo. It was by far, the closest relationship Hux, and Kylo, had ever had and it was highly addictive.

When Starkiller failed and Ren had almost been killed, Hux was stuck by himself for about a week. After months of a warm presence in his bed, he was freezing no matter how many layers he put on. He wouldn’t dare go down to medbay to curl up next to Ren for warmth. That would be unseemly for a man of his status. He would go merely to check on him once during the week for an hour, then return to his own room.

The night Ren had been released, he found his way into the general’s bed and curled up around the already sleeping figure. This time, he didn’t wake him. Instead, he stroked his hair a couple times then carefully lowered himself down behind Hux with an arm over his chest and his hand next to his face. The moment his thumb pad touched Hux’s soft lips, he opened his mouth and latched onto the familiar presence behind him. Kylo relaxed and ran his fingers down Hux’s nose softly. He could feel the warm, gentle breath on his palm. He didn’t fall asleep though. He had slept too much during the week.

Instead, he listened to his partner breathing steadily, felt his warm body against his own, and reveled in the mouth he had missed so much being alone in the medbay.

After a while, Ren had closed his eyes and fallen into a calm state. Hux jolted him out of it by pushing his arm away with a soft moan. Ren wrapped his arm tightly around Hux, fearful he was having a nightmare. A gentle kiss to the back of his neck resulted in Hux gripping the edge of his bed, sheets bunched up between his fingers.

“ _Kylo_ ,” Hux moaned. His voice made Ren’s face heat up and curiosity encouraged him to peek into Hux’s dreams.

“Oh. _Oh_ ,” Kylo’s eyes widened in realization. Oh, Hux was awake, drowsy with lust, but very awake.

“I missed you,” Hux murmured into his pillow. Kylo gripped his hips and pushed up against him with a bite to his neck. Hux was pushed onto his stomach with Ren rutting against his back.

“Oh, I missed you, too, Hux.” He definitely missed the way Hux pressed back against him, raising his hips to meet Ren’s body so eagerly. He could barely bring himself to separate their hips long enough to push the waistband to Hux’s shorts down to his thighs. “Has it been a long week?”

“So long,” Hux moaned, practically presenting his ass to Ren, begging.

“Did you have to do this yourself?”

“Mmh. My fingers weren’t enough. I want you. Fuck me, Kylo.” Hux reached behind him to pull at Ren’s clothes. Ren reluctantly detached himself from Hux to grab the bottle of lube beside the bed. Hux’s body yielded to him, welcoming Ren’s fingers with a lustful moan. The way Hux just melted under a few carefully placed strokes made Ren harden even more for his stunning partner.

“Oh, you are magnificent,” Kylo praised with a kiss to his partner’s shoulder blade. Hux swayed his hips, teasing Kylo.

“Then why are you hesitating?”

Kylo withdrew his fingers with a growl and a playful smack to his rear. He spread his legs a little wider and lowered his chest against the mattress. He swayed his hips for Ren again.

Ren grabbed ahold of Hux’s hip and used his other hand to guide himself into Hux’s hot, inviting body. He slowly sunk into Hux until he had no more left to give and Hux was moaning wantonly into the pillow against his face.

“Were you dreaming of me?” Ren asked in a low voice.

“If I said no, would it matter?” Hux teased. “You woke me up with your large presence. Your smell and warmth made me horny.”

Ren hummed as he gripped Hux’s waist with two hands and gave an experimental thrust. Hux pushed back against Ren, just as he wanted. Ren easily slid out before slamming back into Hux’s wanting body in what became a brutal rhythm. After a week of not being taken, Hux was going to feel this for the next couple days. Oh, he wanted that.

Kylo pressed kisses on the back of Hux’s neck, above where his collar would cover. He lightly bit the area where the collar started; it wouldn’t mark. Just a touch lower, where the collar of his uniform would easily hide, Kylo bit into the soft flesh, making sure to suck the tender spot to leave a nice bruise for Hux.

Hux moaned out lustfully while one hand fisted the pillow beneath him and the other grasped at Ren behind him.

“Oh, stars, Ren. Right there,” Hux dug his fingertips into Ren’s large thigh. “Kriff. Come on, more!” Hux pleaded. Ren absolutely loved it when he was this vocal. “Come on, fill me up, mark me, make me yours. Harder!”

Ren moved Hux’s hips a bit lower then shifted his hands to his lower back. With this new angle, it was easier to thrust quick and deep. Hux’s hand on Ren fell away as his loud moan was muffled into the pillow. Ren continued at the bruising pace until Hux shoved a hand underneath himself and began jerking himself off. Kylo was too far gone in his own pleasure to really care much.

When he felt Hux tense against him, he knew he was done for. A few more strokes, a few more thrusts, Hux was coming hard onto his sheets while Kylo was emptying himself deep in Hux. The feeling of his lover’s body throbbing around him overwhelmed him, causing a couple gasping pants, but he kept his voice to himself as best he could.

Before he could back out, Hux replaced his hand on his thigh, silently asking him to stay. As much as it pained Kylo’s oversensitive cock to do so, he maneuvered them onto their sides so they were spooning instead. Kylo could feel the subtle aftershocks, the soft shuddering of his ass around his cock. He just pressed his sweaty chest against Hux’s damp back and draped an arm over his chest. Almost instinctively, Hux pulled it to his mouth and latched on.

It surprised Kylo. Hux never did blur the lines like this. Never had he been engaged in anything sexual while taking part in their intimate act. But Ren could not deny having a cock (even a softening cock) up his ass was sexual. Before he could really start to worry if something was wrong with Hux, he started with the soft noises Kylo loved.

After a couple of somewhat agonizing minutes, Kylo’s cock softened to the point it slipped out of Hux. Happy to get closer, Ren slid a leg between Hux’s and began slowly stroking down his nose. He felt Hux’s warm breath as he exhaled against his palm, a soft, loving sound. His feet rubbed against one another, something Kylo noticed he did when he felt completely relaxed while they did this. He thought it would keep Hux awake, but it seemed to just lull him into a much needed sense of security in Ren’s presence.

“Hey,” Kylo murmured softly, his nose nuzzling the back of Hux’s neck. “Turn this way.” Ren felt Hux shake his head minutely. “Please?” he asked in the softest, gentlest tone he could. It wasn’t hard with that warm, protective feeling he had while he was plastered to the back of Hux.

After a few silent moments, he let go of Ren’s hand and shifted to lay his head on Ren’s shoulder. Ren rested his hand on Hux’s side, slowly brushing his skin. Hux’s leg hooked over Ren’s lap as he pulled his free hand towards his mouth. From this angle, it was easier to stroke Hux’s cheek rather than his nose. His eyes fluttered closed and he settled in against Ren.

Oh, Ren loved seeing that adorable, peaceful look on Hux’s face. Someone who spent all day looking put-together and barking orders at the drop of a hat looking sleepy and nuzzling against Ren. He was all Ren’s; it was all Ren’s doing, getting him so serene. The sight was all his and only his.

“I love you.” Ren bumped his nose against the disheveled, red strands. He received another heavy exhale against his palm.

_’You don’t love me.’_

“You’re not unlovable.” Ren pressed his palm against Hux’s side. He tried to offer how he saw Hux through his own eyes. He didn’t know how to put it into words in a way Hux would understand.

Shamefully, he pushed Kylo’s hand away from his face. “Don’t show me that.” His cheeks flamed a deep scarlet in embarrassment.

“Why? You have nothing to be ashamed about.” Kylo kept brushing his cheek with his index finger.

“Yes. We do. We shouldn’t be here, like this. We shouldn’t be able to. We shouldn’t love like this. We shouldn’t love at all.”

“Why not? Hux, just take these moments when you can get them. What’s so wrong about that? We’re not going to get a lot of moments like this.”

Slowly, Hux reached for Kylo’s hand again to pull him closer to Hux’s mouth. With a slight huff, he gave in. Kylo tightened his arm around Hux and pressed his cheek against the top of his head. He tried again, to show Hux all of the love and affection he had for him.

He flittered his fingers over Hux’s side, lulling him back into that comforting sense of security. With some quiet time, he relaxed back into Ren’s arms, his foot moved slowly back and forth over the sheets.

“I _do_ love you, Hux.” Kylo felt his own eyelids fluttering tiredly. As much as he wanted to stay awake to watch Hux until the image was permanently seared into his memory, Hux’s sweet, sweet mouth was soothing him towards sleep.

_’I think I love you, too.’_

“I’ll take it,” Kylo said with a lazy smile and a kiss to the top of Hux’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, writing more of this has been kind of comforting these past few days. There may be more chapters added, as I'm trying to upload almost everything I write.


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo woke a couple hours later. Hux still had a good three hours to sleep before his alarm would go off. He hadn’t moved from Kylo’s chest, but he had let go of Kylo’s hand, probably a couple minutes after he had fallen asleep, hours ago.

Kylo took the rare opportunity to watch Hux as he slept. He still had a leg hooked over Kylo’s lap but his foot had stopped moving. His heel rested against Kylo’s calf. His arm had slipped down over Kylo’s torso, laying limply against Kylo’s side. If he moved at all, he’d tickle Ren by accident. Kylo wanted to hold Hux close but he knew if he moved to do so, he’d wake the general and he just looked so peaceful where he was.

Hux would die before he admitted to drooling or snoring in his sleep. But Kylo as a witness, General Hux did both. He didn’t have an obnoxious snore and it only happened if he was in a bad position, or was so dead tired, he wouldn’t move for hours upon hours. At that moment, he was breathing deep and even. His head was propped up on Kylo’s shoulder so he wasn’t snoring. But he was definitely drooling. On Kylo’s shoulder.

Honestly, it wasn’t the first time and Kylo hoped it wouldn’t be the last. He’d never let anyone else _drool_ on him, but Hux was different. It was nice to see him humanized, even if that meant having a wet shoulder. Honestly, it was just saliva, it didn’t bother Ren. Actually, the way Hux woke up, realized with embarrassment what he’d done, then tried to wipe his mouth off and Ren’s skin made Kylo almost laugh. With every night he spent with Hux, he began noticing the human qualities of this hardworking general; he became more than another member of the First Order that Ren could easily eliminate. No, Ren thought, he would feel _bad_ if he ever had to eliminate Hux.

He hoped it never came to that. With the smallest of shifts, he lowered himself slightly and turned minutely towards Hux. They were both still clothed, having barely shed them during their earlier activities. But Hux’s shirt had slipped up at some point and his abdomen had been exposed. He wasn’t as muscular as Ren, not nearly as broad, but he was lean. He was strong, deceptively so.

Kylo didn’t chance touching his waist; Hux was way more ticklish than Ren. No, he reached for his cheek instead, brushing the soft skin with his knuckles. His thumb pressed gently against the soft but slightly chapped lips, running along the bottom one gently. The red hair he kept in such a precise way had come completely undone. The hair under the styling gel he used was much softer than the strands affected by the gel.

It wasn’t often Ren was up before Hux. He was going to take advantage of it. Gently, he ran a couple fingertips from the tip of Hux’s nose to between his eyes a couple times. Hux shifted forward, towards Kylo when he stopped. Kylo felt his fingers twitch on his side. It was everything he had in his power not to jump.

Slowly, he moved Hux’s arm down to where he wasn’t so ticklish. Ren brought his hand back up to caress the left side of his neck, his thumb pressing against Hux’s ear. Hux made a soft, almost inaudible noise and tightened his arm around Ren’s waist. It felt like a lazy embrace. Ren used the time it took for Hux to loosen his grip to shift further down so they were face to face. Slowly, he turned the rest of his body to face Hux. He took a good ten to twenty minutes shifting until he could pull his arm out from under Hux and settle his head back down onto the pillow. It would be another twenty minutes until he could get the feeling back into his hand, but he wasn’t complaining.

After he wiped his shoulder off, he slid his hand up Hux’s leg. He tightened his grip gradually until he could bring Hux’s leg up to rest just below his hip. This brought Hux’s body closer to the front of Ren’s and allowed Ren to slip a leg between Hux’s. With another soft noise of contentment, Hux tightened his arm and leg around Kylo in another embrace. Kylo happily put his non-sleeping arm around Hux, splaying his hand open against the middle of Hux’s back.

Once again, Hux’s grip loosened. Kylo ran his fingertips up and down Hux’s back nice and slow. He found certain points made Hux move certain ways. Kylo dragged his fingertips a little harder over these places. Hux’s breathing kept even but Kylo did begin to feel Hux stirring against his thigh. After a quick gaze into Hux’s dreams, Kylo realized it was just Hux’s sleeping body going through its natural cycle; Hux wasn’t dreaming anything of much interest to Kylo.

Still, Kylo stopped scratching his back and moved to cup his neck again. He brought his face closer until their noses pressed together, brushing gently and repeatedly. Kylo could feel Hux’s warm breath on his cheek as he nuzzled against his partner. He resisted the urge to press their lips together, which would certainly wake Hux up, by pressing his lips to his cheek and nose instead.

He caught himself smiling as he ran his thumb along the length of Hux’s nose. He decided to take another peek into Hux’s dreams, more extensively this time. On the surface, it was a lot of _’relief’_ and _’security.’_ As Kylo explored further, he got the impression that Hux was nestled in…something. Something warm, maybe a blanket, covered him completely, as if it could protect him anything and everything. He felt safe, wherever he was. He had no worries, no cares. He was happy, wherever he was.

Kylo stopped stroking along his nose to wrap both arms around him. In turn, Hux tightened his hold on Kylo slightly. _’Mine,’_ Kylo heard as he withdrew from Hux’s dreams. He nuzzled up against Hux’s nose with a smile.

 _’It’s all yours,’_ Kylo said, not caring if Hux understood or not. He gave in and pressed his lips ever so lightly against Hux’s for just a quick moment. His face scrunched up, like he was tickled, and Kylo thought he might wake up.

He hadn’t, though. He buried his face into whatever was in front of him, which happened to be Kylo’s neck. The breath tickled Ren’s sensitive neck, but he didn’t move. He focused on the feeling of Hux’s shirt against his fingertips as he ran his hand up and down the top half of his back. He enjoyed the slight body tremor when he hit a certain spot right between his shoulder blades. The lighter the pressure, the easier it was to make him shiver. The more pressure Kylo applied to certain areas, had him bodily shift just a tad in that direction.

When he had had his fill, Kylo settled his hands and pressed their foreheads together gently. The warmth on his head, chest, and around his legs relaxed Kylo. Not nearly enough to sleep anymore, but kept him still enough to stop teasing Hux’s sleeping body.

Kylo did continue watching for another half an hour. He never got bored of watching Hux sleep. He surprised himself; he had no desire to wake Hux up himself. This little quiet peace was enough for Ren.

“How long have you been watching me?” Hux asked in a sleep-filled voice. Kylo hadn’t even realized he’d woken. His eyes remained closed.

“All night,” Kylo replied. With a soft brush of his thumb to the lower corner of Hux’s mouth, he chuckled and said, “You do drool, I’ll have you know.”

“I know,” Hux admitted in that same, barely-awake, tone.

“Go back to sleep,” Kylo murmured softly and brought his now-dry thumb up to stroke Hux’s nose slowly again.

“Are you…” Hux started to ask. He couldn’t be arsed with Kylo touching him like that. If his eyes hadn’t already been closed, they would have fallen as heavily as the sigh from his lips.

“Am I what?” Kylo whispered.

“Don’t know. Forgot,” Hux said with another, softer sigh. Kylo moved his thumb to press soft, slow kisses along the length of Hux’s nose. By the time he reached that spot between his eyebrows, Hux was out cold. Kylo ran his thumb up and down a couple more times to make sure Hux was relaxed and would stay asleep.

 

Kylo was still awake when Hux’s alarm went off at 0600. It was shut off within a second by Kylo. Hux’s face scrunched again as he began to stir. Kylo pressed a kiss to the top of his nose then to his lips. He slid his hand along Hux’s neck as he pressed a second kiss to his lips. Hux tightened his embrace around Kylo once more, this time tight and aware, before untangling their limbs.

“Have you been up all night?” Hux asked as he swung himself upright.

“I slept for a couple hours, but I’ve been sleeping so much this past week, I couldn’t sleep anymore.”

Hux nodded in understanding. “They tend to knock you unconscious for the bacta tank. Especially someone like you.”

“I played nice.”

“You did. I was highly impressed.”

“You missed me,” Kylo said with a teasing grin.

“I did.” Hux didn’t look back but gave a quick nod. With a groan, he got himself standing and headed for the refresher. It didn’t take him long to clean and put himself together, donning his multilayered uniform just as easily as he breathed. Kylo, for once, dressed as well. He didn’t want to be left alone in bed this morning, not while he was so wide awake. Hux gave him a curious look, but gave him a quick, chaste kiss before heading out to report for his shift. Kylo waited only a few minutes before exiting Hux’s chambers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. MUCH. FLUFF. "It's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!"  
> No, but seriously, this has become a comfort fic to write/read. I don't know how many more chapters I may do (kinda like the other fic I have under this name), so I just left it open-ended. Hell, it wasn't supposed to go past one chapter, but here we are. Hopefully it doesn't get too repetitive.


	4. Chapter 4

Hux worked through his shift without taking a lunch break, or any break really, and only stopped when Kylo invaded his office after Hux missed dinner.

“Have you been doing this the entire week?” Kylo asked.

“Yes. I eat in my room before I sleep,” Hux said. “It’s more efficient this way.”

“More efficient, sure. Terrible for your health. It’s a miracle you’re still standing. Had I known that, I would have eaten breakfast with you, at least.”

“No time.”

“Hux.” Kylo slid his hand across the desk over Hux’s gloved hand. “Come have dinner with me. You can do this tomorrow.”

“I still have more I have to get done now.”

“I doubt it needs to be done this shift,” Kylo prodded gently. “Besides, I still ache. It feels better sleeping next to you.” Kylo rubbed his eyes for effect when Hux looked up. It wasn’t hard to look worn down and tired; his training, light as it may have been, still physically drained him. He wanted nothing more than to get Hux back to his room, put something of nutritional value in him, and fall into bed for the next couple of days.

“If you’re still in pain, you should be in medical,” Hux argued but began putting his greatcoat on. He slid the datapad in one of the large inside pockets. It wasn’t hard for Kylo to sneak a decent dinner from the cafeteria despite it being after hours. Hux ate while Kylo cleaned himself off in the refresher, as if this was how it happened every night.

Kylo didn’t bother dressing in anything heavier than a pair of undershorts. Unlike Hux, Kylo preferred stripping down for bed, but Hux didn’t exactly enjoy Kylo sleeping in the nude in his bed. Even just the undershorts were pushing it.

But Hux didn’t say a word as he changed into his thin but soft pajama bottoms and t-shirt. He all but fell into Kylo’s open arms, letting him pull the covers up over his shoulders. With his arms around Ren’s torso and Ren’s arms around his neck, they embraced tightly.

“I hope you weren’t expecting anything more than this,” Hux murmured quietly. “I’m so tired, Ren.” His body seemed to slump against Kylo’s but his arms kept holding on around his middle.

“Too tired to do much else,” Kylo agreed. Hux leaned back after a long, silent moment. Having gone the week without seeing Ren, now was really the first time he got a closer look at the scar now covering his face, a testament to his failure in battle. Still, it didn’t hinder his appearance at all in Hux’s eyes. Gently, he brought a hand up to run his fingers over the slightly raised, tender skin on Kylo’s cheek. He followed the red, irritated skin up along his nose to the spot on his forehead where it faded.

“Does it hurt?” Hux asked curiously. Kylo shook his head and brought Hux’s hand back down to his cheek. He nuzzled against Hux’s flat palm.

“It’s healed as much as it’s going to.”

“Gives you character,” Hux said with a slight smile.

“You’ll say the same about the bowcaster wound. The bacta tank healed most of it, but there’s still a mark.”

“Well, Stars, Ren. That’s probably from your bout of pounding to your side.”

Kylo felt himself flush but didn’t argue. Instead, he shifted closer, pressing their bodies together and slotting a leg through Hux’s just to get closer to him. Hux glanced down quickly to Ren’s lips before pressing his lips against Ren’s ever so softly.

Kylo, completely unused to such a soft touch, ran his hand along Hux’s neck to keep himself in check. Hux broke off the kiss with a stifled laugh as his shoulder was pulled up. Kylo caught himself smiling again with his hand trapped between Hux’s jaw and shoulder.

“You're ticklish there?” Kylo guessed.

“Yes! Cut it out,” Hux squirmed until Kylo moved his hand to the back of Hux’s neck. Hux, in retaliation, ghosted his fingers over Ren’s bare side. Ren jumped with a snort then slid his hand down Hux’s arm to lace their fingers together.

“Is that better?” Kylo asked with a quiet chuckle. He shifted back closer to Hux.

“Yes,” Hux punctuated with a quick peck to Kylo’s lips.

“You’re in a surprisingly affectionate mood.”

“It’s been a long week.” Hux’s thumb dug into the back of Kylo’s hand. Kylo could tell he had been and was currently biting the inside of his cheek.

“You won’t get rid of me that easily,” Kylo pressed a soft kiss to Hux’s lips. Hux leaned into the kiss when Kylo leaned back. Happy to comply with Hux’s wish, he let go of Hux’s hand to caress his cheek. Unlike the kisses they usually shared, this one was slow, soft, and not rushed. It certainly didn’t lack the passion they usually had, but it felt more like a soothing burn rather than a wildfire searing through them.

Soft brushes of their tongues replaced the harsh bites that usually took place. Instead of the clashing of teeth, it felt like their lips were just barely brushing at times. Between these long bouts of sweet kisses, they took moments to breathe and just touch each other, a hand brush here, a finger trail there. It much more tender and sweet than they were used to.

It didn’t leave them any less breathless though. Lightheaded from air deprivation, Hux moved to press his lips against Ren’s marred skin, down the scar, and along his jaw. Each kiss was unhurried and loving. Kylo could feel his warm, quick breaths against his neck and only embraced Hux tighter.

Kylo shifted to keep Hux away from his neck, instead, leading him back to his face. He truly was too tired to do much else, but Hux’s plush lips on his neck would certainly change his tune. Hux nudged Kylo’s cheek with his nose then settled his head down on the pillow. Kylo shifted closer until he could rest his forehead and nose against Hux’s comfortably. After some nuzzling on both their parts, allowing them to catch their breath, Hux tilted his head the short distance to catch Kylo’s lips on his own again. Lazy kisses were broken up by deep inhales for as long as they could keep themselves awake. There was no pressure to do anything more and the light touches were warm and comforting in all the right ways.

Kylo felt Hux’s foot run along the back of his leg as Hux hooked his leg up over Kylo’s hip. “You’re so _warm_ ,” Hux groaned happily as he tightened his arms around Kylo’s middle again. Kylo pulled the covers back up over Hux’s shoulders.

“You really should get checked out for poor circulation,” Kylo murmured with a soft chuckle.

“I wouldn’t _have_ to if we could just stay here.”

“You wouldn’t want to stay here. You have a galaxy to conquer.”

“Mmmh, not tonight, I don’t.” He closed his eyes completely and let Kylo’s soothing thumb rubbing along his nose slowly bring him closer to sleep. “Oh, that’s so not fair,” Hux complained languidly.

“Can’t help it you have a weakness.”

“Have a couple of ‘em,” Hux mumbled with a content sigh. “Don’t die, okay?” Hux’s voice was barely audible and sounded the most vulnerable Kylo’s ever heard. He didn’t realize how much Hux had been affected by his near-defeat. All he could do was kiss the spot where his nose ended and his forehead began.

“I won’t,” Kylo promised before going back to stroking Hux’s weak spot.

“Better not,” he muttered sleepily. It wasn’t long at all before his breathing evened out and Kylo settled under the covers to let himself drift off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Sometime during the night, Hux must have woken up and taken Kylo’s thumb into his mouth while they spooned. Kylo certainly didn’t mind. His lips had loosened around the base of his finger but his teeth kept a firm but not uncomfortable hold on him. His tongue lapped against Ren in a slow, sleepy rhythm. Glancing over at the chronopiece on Hux’s table, it was still well into the night cycle. Kylo had only been out a couple hours. With a soft stroke of Hux’s nose, Kylo pried himself from Hux’s mouth, a soft, whispered promise to return.

Kylo’s body was still so tired, but felt the need to get up, to walk around for some reason. Anxious pacing from room to room in Hux’s quarters seemed to work while his mind kept on going. With Starkiller destroyed, the girl gone, the droid gone, Han Solo dead things began weighing down on him. Surely there would be consequences for these actions and their outcomes. The blame would fall to Hux, maybe, and Kylo, definitely. He had lost to the girl, that was his own fault.

Only when his body refused to walk anymore did he return to bed. He didn’t crawl into bed, however. Instead, he chose to sit on the floor to watch Hux sleep again. Admittedly, it was an unsettling habit of his, but Hux calmed him. Watching this man, his general, pull all of the sheets over his body and snuggle under layers of the blankets, it put Kylo at ease. He noticed under the edge of the blanket Hux had his own hand replacing Kylo’s, the fingers curled around the tip of his nose and his lips around his own thumb. To do this in his sleep, he must have been just about as anxious and stressed as Kylo was.

Still, holding a pillow with his free arm and sprawled out on his belly, he looked at peace while he slept. With a sigh, Kylo pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin atop his knees. For all Kylo knew, they were both doomed. But fuck if he wasn’t going to enjoy the time he had left.

On that thought, Kylo pushed himself up and back under the covers, taking what little space Hux had left him. For someone so lithe and small, given the chance, he certainly took up a lot of space. At least he didn’t kick, usually.

He shifted until Hux was forced to lift his head and rest it back on Ren’s chest. He tried to pry Hux’s hand away so he could give Hux his hand, but he refused and Ren didn’t want to wake him up. Ren just used the advantage of having both of his arms free to embrace Hux and pull him towards his chest.

Kylo fell back into an unsatisfying sleep for the remainder of the night cycle until he was woken up with Hux’s alarm. With a soft kiss to his forehead, Kylo murmured, “I’m joining you for breakfast.”

“You really don’t need to,” Hux replied sleepily.

“Breakfast and dinner, that’s the deal.”

“If you’ve got the time.”

“I’ll make time,” Kylo assured him with a soft, long kiss. His hand trailed Hux’s jaw gently until he could put his thumb on his lower lip, separating them. He brushed his thumb pad across Hux’s lips made slick from saliva.

“You’re acting strange.”

“A lot has happened in the past week.” Kylo kept his gaze on those full, pink lips of Hux’s.

“I suppose so,” his lips barely moved while he talked in a hushed tone. “Even for you, it’s strange.”

“Does it upset you?”

“..No, I don’t think it does. It’s just…unsettling.”

“Everything’s changed.”

“We’ll be all right.” It was strange coming from someone like Hux. Both of them were aware of their place. Hux was disposable. He was useful, definitely, but he was only human. He could be replaced. If it was for the best of the First Order, he would give his last breath for the Order. Kylo wasn’t so much devoted to the Order as he was aware that his power was being used by Snoke. What he got in return, a place in the universe, some sort of name he actually wanted for himself, that was what made it worth it. He, too, was willing to die if it came down to it.

So, whether Hux meant they would give their lives and the Order would be fine or that they, personally, would be fine, Kylo wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Kylo made an appearance in some of the meetings held during that day. He was merely there to oversee things. Hux spent the entire time he wasn’t discussing things jotting down notes and paying attention like he was supposed to. Kylo couldn’t seem to tear his attention away from Hux.

He didn’t appear outwardly anxious to anyone else it seemed. But while everyone else, including Hux, was paying attention to another officer speaking, Hux trailed his lips with the pad of his thumb slowly. Even with his leather gloves off and in front of him, it would look like something he did while he was thinking, especially when he began chewing on the bottom of his lip.

It stopped suddenly when the person standing up ended their discussion. With a tight nod, Hux stood to give another side or introduce a new topic. Kylo couldn’t really focus on the wording with Hux subtly picking at his cuff.

Less than a minute later, Hux was back to sitting and giving his attention to the new officer standing. This time, after a few minutes, Hux began to chew on his thumbnail. No one else even looked his way; they were too busy trying to look as though they were paying attention. When he no longer had anything to chew on without hitting skin, he began running the thumb pad over his front teeth, fidgeting like Kylo had never seen before.

It truly wasn’t hard to tell Hux was anxious. But Kylo had never seen him this anxious as to let down his guard and let subconscious fiddling actually be presented. Not only that, but Kylo, the only person to ever discover his vice and live, he could tell he wanted to something fierce. He wondered if Hux had done this before, if Kylo had just missed the signs. If Hux was alone in his office, would he have slipped the offending digit between his teeth and given in?

He went back to chewing on the side of his thumb instead, seeming to have realized how close he was. Still, it didn’t seem like he able to just let it go completely. He seemed to want the comfort and this was as close as he could get while in a public setting. It was unusual to see him cracking so much.

It was distracting, to say the least. Kylo truly had no chance of paying attention to such a mundane meeting, even before he factored in Hux’s subconscious actions. No one thought he paid attention anyways.

He didn’t leave until the meeting was over, however, even if it was to prove several officers otherwise. He wanted to talk to Hux, but he knew Hux wouldn’t say anything where someone could overhear them. He’d have to wait. Instead, he went to train to take his frustrations out on something physical. That, followed by a meditation session, made him too late to meet up with Hux for dinner, as he had promised. He hoped Hux had at least eaten something.

 

Hux itched to get out of that meeting. The next one wasn’t much better. He barely managed to focus on what was being said enough to respond to it. He wasn’t sleeping well; he knew Ren wasn’t either. Mostly, he was eager for a victory of any size to make up for the recent failures, something to prove that he was still worth something. His survival instinct decided to kick in every time he thought about Snoke discarding him so easily; he didn’t actually want to die, for the First Order or otherwise.

He was sure after a week that he wouldn’t be executed. If Snoke wanted to get rid of him, he would have done so sooner. Even still, he was anxious and Ren’s own anxiety just made him more restless. Every time he was summoned by the Supreme Leader, he found himself thinking ‘Is this the one? Have I served my purpose?’

But there was nothing more to be done at the moment than overseeing the bridge most days. They had to regroup and re-evaluate how the Order would go about things with Starkiller base destroyed, a fraction of their troops with it. He was used to running on only a few hours’ worth of sleep, so functioning on nights filled with broken sleeping patterns wasn’t that difficult, even if it did leave him feeling run-down.

The only upside Hux could really see, was Ren’s survival. The girl hadn’t been able to kill him, or let him live for some reason. The Supreme Leader wouldn’t kill off his apprentice so easily; he needed him, he was important. That Force-user, as destructive as he was, was more useful than Hux could ever be in Snoke’s eyes.

Hux found himself in his office after that last meeting of the day shift. His gloves rested on his desk in front of him, his fingers trailing lightly over his own hand. It was a simple reminder that he was alive. The strong, somewhat fast, pulse under his fingertips on his wrist was only a slight comfort. But he was alive.

The last couple hours of his shift were spent going through mundane expense report after report. His fingers typed away without a thought, giving an explanation or needed insight on certain parts.

He was almost disappointed when Ren failed to make an appearance in the cafeteria. Hux ate anyways; he was already there with food in front of him. Looking around the cafeteria, he could name each and every officer and knew every ‘trooper number. He knew of their names and titles but nothing more. The same went for them. If they knew how afraid Hux was, for his own future and for the future of the Order, would they still serve under him so easily?

Then again, maybe they knew. He was human, after all, just like many of them. Humans experienced a range of emotions and fear in a time of war wasn’t that uncommon.

It didn’t matter, he supposed, as long as he didn’t present such a cowardly outward appearance. It was easy; he’d been doing it for years, decades even.

He couldn’t help but think Ren’s presence would have helped. It actually felt lonely to be sitting in the cafeteria with officers all around him. None of them would look towards him more than to salute respectfully, let alone sit down with him and talk like they would with each other.

He managed about half of the food in front of him, a waste, truly. Anymore, however, would have made him too nauseous to make the walk back to his rooms. Disappointingly so, they were empty. No large Force-user present to take up his space. He should be happy, he thought, for how often they say the other was annoying them. It was that bickering he missed. Or rather, it was the quiet but large presence that gave him some semblance of comfort, a constant, something that wouldn’t change.

It wasn’t until he was settled under his sheets, the edge pulled under his chin by the same hand his mouth was attached to, that Ren decided to make an appearance. Hux closed his eyes as Ren shed his clothes and headed to shower.

Less than ten minutes later, he was crawling into bed naked, behind Hux. He stayed sitting up with his back against the wall where a headboard would be but put his hand on Hux’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry I missed dinner,” he murmured quietly. Hux berated himself for thinking he could fool Ren into thinking he was asleep before reluctantly pulling his thumb out of his mouth.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not.”

“I’m not some weak-willed person. I don’t need you there to hold my hand.” He couldn’t keep the frustration out of his voice. He couldn’t tell if it was directed towards himself or Ren, but it was there.

“Did you eat?” Ren ignored the tone anyhow.

“Yes. Have you eaten today?”

“Yes. Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine. I don’t need your concern.”

“Are you trying to goad me into a fight?” Kylo asked in a tired voice.

“No. You’re just being unnecessarily nosy.”

“I’m not going to apologize for caring.” Ren squeezed his hand on Hux’s shoulder. Hux shoved his thumb back in between his teeth. “Will you turn this way?”

“Why?” he removed his hand long enough to ask.

“Because your negative energy is draining,” Kylo said in that same tired voice.

“And you think talking to you will help?”

“No. Just, please, Hux.” He sounded like he didn’t have any patience or fight left to deal with Hux pushing him away. So, without removing his hand this time, he turned to Ren. Kylo ran his fingers through Hux’s hair slowly with a soft, “Thank you.”

“Mmph.” _’You’re welcome.’_

Kylo pulled himself down until he could rest his head on the pillow behind him. His hand slid along Hux’s forearm down to his wrist, then tugged gently. Hux shook his head. _’I don’t want you,’_ was the clearest thought Kylo picked up on.

“Why not?” Kylo kept his hand around Hux’s wrist.

“It’s uncomfortable in this position. Normally, I’d deal with it, but I’m really not in tolerant mood,” Hux murmured, the pad of his thumb never leaving his lip.

“There’s something else.”

 _’I don’t want to be reliant on you.’_ There were other snippets Kylo picked up on, but that was the main idea.

“I’m not going anywhere, Hux.”

“You’re distancing yourself.” Hux gave up and rested his hand underneath his head instead. “I don’t know why, nor do I care.”

“You do care. You wouldn’t be so…moody if you didn’t,” Kylo pointed out. It only made Hux want to turn back over and ignore Kylo completely.

“Well, it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m not trying to distance myself,” Kylo said softly. He reached over and brushed Hux’s cheek gently.

“You left about halfway through the night and you missed dinner the very _day_ you _promised_ to have breakfast and dinner together.” Hux appeared to have startled himself with the anger in his tone but quickly schooled his features.

“I’ve been having trouble sleeping. Walking helps. I didn’t go far, I promise. As for the dinner, I lost track of time. For that, I should apologize.”

“You aren’t the only one having trouble sleeping,” Hux murmured quietly.

“I know.”

 _’I’m lonely without you.’_ Hux, despite his mouth being unoccupied, was broadcasting. Kylo wasn’t sure if he realized it or not; the thoughts running through Hux’s mind were making his heart ache.

“I love you. I’m not going anywhere. It’s okay to depend on me. It’s okay to be lonely. It’s okay to _want_ someone to stay.”

Instead of saying any one of the thoughts swirling around that head of his, Hux moved forward reluctantly and shifted his head onto Ren’s shoulder. Before Ren could offer his own hand, Hux brought his own to his face, curling his fingers over the tip of his nose and latching onto his thumb.

 _’Uncomfortable,’_ Hux repeated. _’You’re the only one who gets to see me like this. You’re the only one I let in,’ _Hux made sure he had Ren’s gaze as he thought loudly. He was unusually emotional as he finished, _’Don’t make me regret it.’___


	6. Chapter 6

They were both awake for a while after that exchange but they passed the time still and silent. Even with his eyes closed, Kylo could still tell Hux was awake. If his breathing rate hadn’t given it away, his constant thinking would have.

It was about an hour later when Hux huffed and turned over to face away from Kylo. He kept his head on Kylo’s shoulder with some of his weight on Kylo’s arm and his back pressed against his side. He huffed again as he reached back and tapped Kylo’s side until he, too, turned to spoon Hux. Without thinking, he rested his arm on Hux’s waist, which Hux promptly pulled up around his chest. Almost instantly, Kylo felt those full, wet lips of his clamp down around his thumb with a soft hum. Both of Hux’s hand encompassed Kylo’s larger hand. The one on the bottom pressed palm-to-palm and laced their fingers together to rest against the pillow. His other hand rested atop of Ren’s, stroking softly between the back of his hand and his wrist. It wasn’t long at all until Kylo felt Hux’s restless feet kicking at each other while keeping away from Kylo. He didn’t try to stop him, instead pressing a bent knee against and almost between Hux’s clothed legs.

“Is it okay to talk?” Kylo broke the long silence by asking. “It’s not as if either of us are going to sleep any time soon, it seems.”

_’Don’t want to.’_

“You don’t have to.”

“Mmh.” _’Fine. Then go ahead.’_ Hux could feel Ren’s breath on the back of his neck every time he spoke. It felt nice to have someone so close.

“I truly wasn’t trying to distance myself. I wouldn’t want to distance myself from you. I’d miss you too much.”

 _’You’re too attached.’_ This was quickly followed by a reluctant, muffled _’I am, too.’_

“Probably. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love. But I did and I’m not going back on it. You’re stuck with me,” Ren joked. “I shouldn’t have left you alone at dinner. I hadn’t meant to, not after seeing how anxious you were earlier.”

 _’Then why did you?’_ Ren hated how the thoughts were laced with a sort of pain. Whispers of _’You promised’_ and _’Why?’_ kept circling in Hux’s mind.

“I lost track of time. I may or may not do it again. I’m not making any more promises.” Kylo pressed a kiss to the back of Hux’s head. “I will try my best not to do it again. That I can promise.” After a short pause, “I’m glad you ate something, though.”

_’Convenient. I was already there.’_

“I’m sorry,” Kylo murmured against Hux’s neck. He wanted to make that hurt tone in his thoughts vanish. In the silence that followed, Kylo could pick up on the frustration Hux was giving off from not being able to sleep. He hadn’t been sleeping much since Starkiller was destroyed and his body was exhausted. His mind just wouldn’t shut down to give him some peace. After a few minutes of the roiling frustration, Kylo gave in. “I can help you get some rest. It’s a Force trick and probably won’t be satisfying sleep, but it’ll let you rest.”

 _’What about you?’_ laced with _’Yes! Sleep. Need sleep.’_

“I can’t do it to myself.”

A few thoughts became jumbled together. Kylo picked up _’Lonely. Awake alone.’_

“What?” Kylo bumped his nose up against Hux’s hair.

Reluctantly, Hux pulled Kylo’s hand away. “Won’t you be just as tired if you don’t sleep?”

Kylo shrugged as best he could. “At least one of us would get some sleep. Besides, maybe seeing you resting, I’ll be able to,” Kylo lied. “There’s no reason for us both to be exhausted and miserable.”

“Will it hurt?”

“No.”

He seemed to think about it for a short time before nodding curtly. Kylo brought his hand back up to Hux’s mouth. He latched on without any objections. Kylo let the Force flow through his hand as he brushed his fingers down Hux’s nose gently. He felt the grip around his wrist go slack and Hux’s lips loosen against his thumb and knew he’d been successful. Curled around him, Kylo forced himself to relax into a fitful sleep filled with nightmare after nightmare.

At about 0300 hours, he gave up and just laid awake next to Hux, who had also woken up about half an hour before. With a frustrated sigh, he glanced over to Hux who was trying to get back to sleep.

“Wanna have sex?” Kylo broke the silence in the darkness to ask.

“Not particularly.”

“Actually, neither do I,” Kylo realized. “I’m tired of trying to sleep though.”

“As am I.” Hux did shift to face Kylo. He slid his fingers along Hux’s neck and into his hair while he pressed a slow, hot kiss on his lips. After about half a minute, he leaned back.

“Still, nothing?”

Hux shrugged. “Not really. It’s not you, it’s just—“

“Not in any sort of mood to do it,” Kylo finished for him. “Me, too.”

“Then why are you trying?”

“Because it’s odd.”

“It’s not really all that odd.”

“Maybe not to you. But as someone who intentionally cuts themselves off from physical sensation, especially touch, to not get the slightest bit turned on with your lips on mine and your body against me, it’s really odd.”

“Maybe you’re just not one for soft touches?”

Kylo looked at Hux. “I doubt that. Surprisingly, I’d rather have sex that isn’t hate-filled.”

“Hmm.” Hux hummed against Kylo’s lips as he pressed a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. “Maybe, maybe you’re getting older, more mature.”

“I don’t like it.”

“You wouldn’t,” Hux chuckled lightly.

“Wait, are you saying you don’t always want to do it?”

“There are some times that I don’t. Actually, more often than not. Not everyone is ruled by hormones.”

Kylo sighed and ran his hand over the back of Hux’s neck. His eyelids fluttered closed for a second, just enjoying the sensation on his skin.

“If you’re anxious or stressed or otherwise upset, your body may respond appropriately and your libido might not be as...active,” Hux murmured.

“I guess.” Kylo kept rubbing the back of Hux’s neck slowly. He was practically melting to the touch; and Kylo thought he was touch-starved. Kylo had to wonder about his childhood, if he had even been held by his parents or any other human being. “Still, I’m bored. I want to do something. It’s not often we have three hours to spend together, alone.”

“If you could keep doing that,” Hux practically moaned. Kylo frowned; he couldn’t feel the usual warmth in his lower belly at Hux’s suggestive tone. He huffed but kept stroking.

Hux, thinking that Kylo was upset that he wasn’t returning the favor, slid his hand over Kylo’s neck before running his thumb pad over Kylo’s beautiful cheek. “You have such an erotic voice at times,” Kylo said with a slight smile.

“No one else is permitted to hear it.”

“Good,” Kylo growled softly, his hand tightening briefly on Hux’s neck. Hux let out a small gasp.

Hux trailed his fingers slowly over Kylo’s sensitive neck. “Still nothing?”

“Are you trying to turn me on?”

“Not particularly. You just seem upset by it.”

Kylo shrugged. “It’s fine. Especially if you’re not up for doing anything.”

“Time to waste. What better use is there?” Hux sighed pleasantly as Kylo resumed rubbing his neck.

“It’s no fun if it’s not for your own enjoyment.”

“Speak for yourself. I rather like hearing your pleased noises. The face you make when you’re sated, too.”

“I do believe that was a compliment.”

“Perhaps it was. It’s amazing what can be said in the dark. Although, you can be a selfish lover at times.”

“I’m not arguing, but why?”

“ ‘It’s no fun if it’s not for your own enjoyment.’ I’m surprised you don’t notice if I don’t finish sometimes.”

“I do, I just assume you don’t want to continue. You tend to curl up away from me.”

“It became a habit. It doesn’t matter anyways. If I wanted more, I could ask and you’d give. But finishing isn’t everything. Sometimes just the intimacy does it for me. I don’t really need more than having you close.”

Kylo shifted so his nude body was flush against Hux’s clothed body. He pressed another slow kiss to Hux’s lips. “Just ask,” he murmured with a soft brush to Hux’s cheek. Hux nodded and moved his hand to Kylo’s lower back. His skin was hot and smooth against his fingertips and palm. “That’s all you ever have to do.”

“I know,” Hux murmured as Kylo kissed his forehead.

“I love you.”

Hux let himself smile just a little bit as his hand slid over his back. With a quiet groan, Kylo shifted to wrap both his arms around Hux’s neck in an embrace. A let slipped between Hux’s soft, pajama-clad legs. Kylo could feel Hux’s pajama top and bottoms caressing his own body in such a sensual way.

“Love you, too,” Hux murmured, muffled by Kylo’s neck. Hux licked a spot on Kylo’s neck then brought his lips together to suck gently. He felt more than heard Kylo’s pleased, surprised mewl.

“Now you’re just asking for it,” Kylo murmured softly against Hux’s head.

“Not much to give, eh?” Hux glanced down at Kylo’s exposed, flaccid cock.

Kylo ‘hmph’ed then pulled Hux back into a tight embrace. “I told you. Nothing. It’s weird.”

“You’re not exactly what people would call ‘normal.’ “

Kylo chuckled fondly and slid a hand under Hux’s neckline in the back just to feel him shiver slightly. “I suppose not.” Kylo pressed yet another soft kiss to Hux’s tempting lips. Hux leaned forward when Kylo leaned back. He resettled into the kiss and let his lips part for Hux. He felt Hux’s arm tighten around him while his head tilted just so to deepen the kiss.

“You’re not getting all hot and bothered, are you?” Kylo pulled away to ask.

“Wouldn’t matter if I was. I’m not, however, I just like kissing.”

“Never realized you weren’t all that sexual.”

“Guess not. Not everything is about sex, or even lack of sex, Kylo.” Hux nuzzled close before kissing Kylo again.

“I just assumed when you kissed me like that, that you wanted sex.”

“I just like kissing,” Hux repeated, pulling him back. “Now, shut up, so I can.” Between long, slow kisses, Hux made quiet, pleased noises. The sounds of his breathing, his warm, soft pajamas running along his skin, the blanket above them rubbing against his skin all began to mechanically arouse Kylo, but he still wasn’t in the right mindset to do anything about it. Hux didn’t even pause the kissing; there was no way Hux couldn’t feel it.

Eventually, Hux’s hand slid from his back, to his waist, then to his front, where Kylo grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. Hux leaned back just enough to give Kylo a questioning look. Kylo shook his head and leaned forward for more kisses.

Hux finally broke off the kiss with a few light brushes to the corner of Kylo’s mouth. Kylo laid his head down on Hux’s chest while he traced patterns on the other side of Hux’s torso.

“Mmh, you’re always so warm,” Hux murmured happily. He pulled the blanket up over his shoulders and shifted closer to Ren’s body. He pulled Kylo’s hand away from tracing up to his mouth. Instinctively, Kylo ran his fingers up and down the length of Hux’s nose while Hux’s other hand scratched lightly through Kylo’s hair.

“Mh,” Kylo sighed with a smile. “This is a great way to spend three hours.” He rubbed his cheek against Hux’s torso with another pleased sigh. Hux’s fingertips massaged his scalp, through his thick, black locks. Kylo was putty in Hux’s hand.

Hux’s hand slowed and Kylo felt his eyelids getting heavy. Much too slow, sleep finally overtook him.


	7. Chapter 7

When Kylo woke up, he was alone and it was approximately halfway through the dayshift. It was much later than he’d ever slept in years. He woke up to a message written out of flimsi on the table, letters scratched out in Basic in a font he hadn’t personally seen since he was Ben, handwriting. Hux’s particular handwriting looked horrendous, but it wasn’t exactly used often at all.

_’You were sleeping like the dead. Didn’t want to wake you. Don’t worry about breakfast. Make sure you eat something. Love you.’_

It definitely wasn’t like Hux to leave a love note of all things. Although, it looked like he hesitated before adding that last part, it had been crossed out once before being rewritten underneath it. Kylo could pretty much tell Hux’s thought process, ‘Doesn’t matter how much I cross it out, Kylo _will_ know.’ Still, it brought a nice warmth in his stomach, different from arousal.

Kylo pulled the datapad out of Hux’s drawer, one he usually left in his room, and typed out a quick message on a secure channel.

_’I love you, too.’_

Hux was running through things on the bridge when his datapad chimed with the message and he had to practically shove his face into a monitor to keep anyone else from seeing his warm-feeling face.

‘Did you sleep well?’ Hux typed out and sent when his face had cooled down.

‘Yes. Were you up the entire time?’

‘Yes.’

‘Sorry.’

‘It’s fine. I slept earlier, thanks to you.’

‘I’ll meet you for dinner.’ Kylo put the datapad back after Hux’s affirmation and dressed to go train for a few hours. This time, he made sure not to stay too long. Come the usual dinner time that signified the end of Hux’s shift, Kylo had already gotten a quick shower and dressed down in one of the pure black outfits the ‘troopers had to wear under their armor. It felt too tight, but he didn’t really want to draw so much attention to himself in the cafeteria with Hux. He _could_ use the Force to draw peoples’ attention elsewhere, but he didn’t want to expend that much energy on something so mundane.

He joined Hux at the empty table only a couple minutes after Hux had sat down, each with a tray in front of them and silent. Hux didn’t really bother with a smile but Kylo could see he wasn’t as tense. Had they been alone, he might have reached across to just touch Hux’s free hand, but they weren’t alone.

It wasn’t until Hux finished eating, which took a rather long time, did he say anything. “Make any progress today?”

“About the same as any other day. Maybe less. I did sleep in.”

Hux nodded minutely and kept his eyes downcast.

“You have terrible handwriting,” Kylo said with a quiet chuckle. He wanted to keep Hux talking, this silence wasn’t exactly uncomfortable but it was too quiet.

His nose scrunched up for an incredulous moment as he looked up at Kylo. “I don’t often write by hand.”

“Clearly,” Kylo teased. “I didn’t think you were capable of leaving love notes.”

“It wasn’t—“ he instantly defended before pausing and taking a breath. “It wasn’t meant to be a love note. I didn’t know how long you’d sleep and I didn’t want to wake you if you were actually getting solid rest.”

“I appreciate that.”

Hux nodded quickly again.

“It was a nice surprise.”

“Don’t come to expect those kinds of behaviors.”

“Of course not, general.”

“It’s not often I see you in such attire. What’s the occasion?” Hux asked after about half a minute.

Kylo shrugged. “No occasion, just wanted something lighter.”

“Hmm.”

“Feels weird. Too exposed. I don’t much like it. But it’s better than the aura of fear I get from those around me most of the time in my usual garments.”

“I suppose you would feel that energy shift, wouldn’t you?”

Kylo nodded. “Hard not to. Shall I?” He slid his hand over to reach for Hux’s tray.

“I’ve got it. But thanks.” Hux got up and returned the tray with Kylo at his side doing the same.

“I don’t want to go back to our rooms just yet,” Kylo said as they headed in the usual direction.

“Our rooms? You haven’t spent a night in your room in...several months, at least.”

“Your bed is just too inviting.”

“Where are you planning on going then?”

Kylo shrugged. “You know this place like the back of your hand.”

“I command this ship. I should.”

“So, show me somewhere new.”

“Kylo, you’ve been on this command ship for two or three years now. Surely you, also, know this command vessel as well as the back of your hand.”

“Perhaps. But I usually don’t spend my nights wandering.”

“I don’t either. Not anymore,” Hux conceded.

“Still. I’m sure you found some little corner that is hidden away.”

“If you’re looking for privacy, _our_ room would be better.”

“Don’t you get tired of seeing the same ceiling every night? Of the constant hums of the engines, of the footfalls down the hall at all hours?”

Hux thought for a second before shaking his head. “I’m used to an environment that doesn’t change. Even when it does, it really doesn’t. The ceiling could be painted bright purple but it’s still the same ceiling. The hum of the engines is rather comforting and I find myself unable to settle without that sound. As for ‘troopers passing down the hall, I’d be worried if they weren’t making their rounds.”

Instead of turning down the corridor that would lead to Hux’s rooms, they kept walking forward. Hux glanced briefly towards his room, but his steps didn’t falter.

“I suppose you would be used to different environments. I’m sure you’re being driven slowly insane by being forced to remain stationary for so long,” Hux thought aloud. “Things get old quickly to you, don’t they?”

“Some things, yes. This ship is definitely one of them.” Kylo couldn’t help the small smile that formed when Hux glared over for just a second. Of course, he’d take any insult to this ship personally. “But I don’t care for the recycled air all of the time. It feels like a cage after a while. It’s like being told all over again that I’m bedridden for the unforeseeable future.”

“But you’re not bedridden.”

“Obviously.”

“I understand, though. I’m just so acclimated to adapting to what circumstances I’m presented with, I just don’t argue.”

“That’s a rather laidback attitude for a general.”

“I mean, of course I’ll do anything I can to move forward and up, but if that means I have to stay stationary for some amount of time, so be it. You’re so used to the unconventional ways of doing things, always moving somewhere, even if it is in reverse sometimes.” It was Kylo’s turn to glare at Hux for a moment. “I’m sure the Supreme Leader will have a new mission for you soon enough. You’ll be free from the cage, as you so eloquently put it.”

“You can’t possibly tell me that you _like_ the recycled air over the feeling of fresh air in your lungs? That space, as large as it is, doesn’t get claustrophobic when you’re living in ship after ship? You don’t miss the rain from Arkanis sometimes?”

Hux intentionally kept his expression neutral. The rain had the same calming effect the engines did, he would admit. It was just ambient noise that he came to accept and eventually couldn’t live without, that’s all. “I had a certain fondness for the isolation of the rain, certainly. But past that, no, I don’t miss the wet, cold feeling I could feel within my bones.”

“Sounds almost poetic when you put it that way.”

“Down here.” Hux reached towards Kylo before he thought better of it to lead him down the next hallway.

“Where are we going?”

“To cure you of your claustrophobia.”

“Not cryptic at all.” Kylo kept up easily.

“Almost no one comes down this way. There isn’t much down here besides an unused supply closet.”

“Are you planning on letting me ravish you in said supply closet?”

“No,” Hux said simply. “Would you really want to?”

Kylo shrugged. “I mean, if you’d like me to.”

Hux waved his hand dismissively. “Then I’d rather not. Besides, this is better.” This time, Hux did take Kylo’s hand to pull him down a narrow corridor to a room that was more open with mostly clear windows instead of solid walls. A door slid closed behind them with a soft noise. From this area, it was easy to see so many stars surrounding them, a small part of the galaxy spread out before them with no end in sight.

Hux removed his overcoat and gloves then hopped up on the durasteel railing in the middle of the room. Kylo followed suit, sitting next to Hux so close their legs touched. Almost possessively, he wrapped his arms around Hux’s waist with a quick glance over.

After some time of simply looking out until he felt small within the large expansive universe instead of trapped, Kylo looked over to Hux again, this time for longer. With his free hand, he knocked Hux’s hat back onto the floor with his overcoat and gloves and pressed a kiss to his lips. Hux moved a hand to Kylo’s leg to balance himself out as he leaned towards Kylo.

It was just a simple kiss, seemingly soft reassurance. Kylo backed away first to rest his head on Hux’s shoulder. He was surprised to feel Hux’s cheek against the top of his head.

“Wow,” Hux murmured and squeezed Kylo's knee. “These certainly are form-fitting.”

“Tight,” Kylo argued.

“Maybe if you were of average size and not so broad...”

“You say that like you don’t enjoy it.” Kylo only received a huff in response. “Let’s go back.”

“To _our_ room?” Hux even sounded like he was smiling.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Hux waited patiently for Kylo to pull himself away so he could retrieve his gloves, hat, and overcoat. They were removed the moment he stepped into his quarters anyways, with Kylo right behind him.

“Come on.” Kylo pulled Hux’s jacket off from behind, followed by his shirts. He didn’t reach for the trousers, instead wrapping his arms around Hux’s bare middle and pressing kisses from behind his ear to the nape of his neck. His slow, soft kisses made Hux’s head drop forward while his hands crossed over Kylo’s. “Stars, I love you,” Kylo murmured against Hux’s skin, his breath hot and sending shivers down Hux’s spine.

“I love you, too,” Hux murmured in a low, dazed voice. Kylo pressed another soft but wet kiss to Hux’s neck with a low chuckle. Hux felt some of his muscles relax from the sensation.

“Mmh, you taste so good,” Kylo murmured with another kiss. He pulled his hands free from under Hux’s to let him finish changing. Kylo removed the fitted black outfit and slid under the covers in just his black briefs before Hux was done changing. He shifted in behind Hux once he was comfortable so their bodies were fitted perfectly together. Kylo rather liked the sensual feel of Hux’s body fitted so nicely with his own, his chest over Hux’s back, the curve of Hux’s backside rested against the curve of Kylo’s pelvis, and the way Kylo’s thighs pressed against Hux’s warm legs.

Hux tilted his head forward, revealing his neck to Kylo. He let his eyes close as he pressed his lips against the warm skin. He could feel the short, soft hairs against his lips and his tongue. His arm tightened around Hux’s waist, keeping him right up against Kylo. The thin fabric of his night clothes felt soft against Kylo’s bare skin. His breathing was even and slow against Kylo’s chest. He let out a content sigh, barely audible.

“Is this what courting is like for the average person?” Hux mused out loud. Kylo laughed.

“Courting? No, Hux. This isn’t how people ‘court’ one another. We’re not so average. This is...extraordinary.”

Hux practically purred at that. “I like the way things are now.”

“You didn’t like the pure physical relationship we had before?”

“I did. But this is so much better. It feels...more intimate. I didn’t like the idea of, of being intimate with someone. Sex was fine, absolutely, a fantastic release. But _this_ , oh, this is wonderful.”

“Never thought I’d see the day, Hux, you admit you actually like cuddling.”

“You do, too.”

Kylo nodded, pressed another kiss to Hux’s neck, and said, “With you? Definitely. You feel nice.”

“Helps that you’re practically giving oral to my neck,” Hux exhaled through his mouth.

“Mh, practically? I’ll have to try harder.” He swirled his tongue languidly against Hux and ended with a long, wet kiss, his lips smacking loudly against Hux.

“Kriff, that is splendid.” Hux groaned as he felt the light brush of teeth.

“Sensual?” Kylo barely let his lips leave Hux’s skin to ask.

“Very,” Hux nodded slightly. Lately it seemed they both agreed sensual acts were better for the time being. Sexual acts, pleasant as they were, Hux truly didn’t have the motivation or energy to do anything with and Kylo couldn’t argue. Sex just didn’t seem all that pertinent. These sensual acts of theirs, while sometimes bordering on the sexual side, this is what they found to be craving. Another body to take up space with them, another person to occupy time, to talk, to touch, just to exist with, this is what they needed.

Just to be sure Kylo didn’t cross any lines Hux didn’t want him to, he’d sometimes ask. Just the one word to affirm that Hux was fine with it. If need be, Hux would say something along the lines of ‘too much’ and Kylo would dial it down. In the coming weeks, this would be how they spent their nights, getting as close as possible, touching as much as possible, but not bringing themselves to climax. It was a pleasant set-up.

In the next few weeks, things settled down. Hux found himself stepping back into his role of the ruthless First Order general while Kylo began a tougher training regimen under the Supreme Leader’s command. It left him even more drained, but nights with Hux acted as refueling.

About three weeks later, Kylo received one of those secret missions that Hux wasn’t exactly keen on. He realized he had come to appreciate the knight’s presence and didn’t like him being away. His bed felt cold again, much too large, too much space. He even tried packing the two extra pillows in the middle of the bed to simulate the warming presence against his back. It was better than nothing.

It was also in that time that Hux realized he hadn’t been falling back to his thumb-sucking habit as much, not so much since he had Ren to just hold him and vice versa. It was Ren’s absence that made him return to his persistent habit just to settle down enough to sleep.

When a week turned into two which turned into a month, Hux felt what one would describe as heartache. He never thought he’d be capable enough to feel such pain, but damn, when his chest began to physically ache whenever he thought about how he longed for the knight’s return, he couldn’t exactly deny it to himself.

Every couple of nights, he’d get a short transmission of Ren with a quick apology and a promise to be back as soon as he could. Once a week, Kylo and Hux would share a late night call for about half an hour. Hux could tell from Ren’s reencounters that he was happier being on the move than he was while ‘trapped’ on the _Finalizer_. It didn’t bother Hux. He knew if Kylo had his way, Hux would be there with him.

Truthfully, part of it must have been Kylo getting the chance to return to the Supreme Leader’s good graces, but Kylo did love having free range on such missions. Still, before he got into these stories, Kylo always asked about Hux. ‘Are you eating as you should be? Keeping hydrated? Sleeping? You’re not feeling sick, are you?’ It was endearing how much he cared. ‘Don’t work too much, Hux,’ he always said before ending the transmission. Sometimes he’d add ‘I love you,’ but most of the time his care-filled words did it for him.

A month turned into eight weeks before Kylo eventually did come back home. In that time, Hux and Kylo had only said ‘I miss you,’ a total of four times each. Hux found the words made his throat close up which made it impossible to talk, so he just avoided it. Only four times did the phrase get past his filter, prompted either by Kylo or a lull in conversation.

But a short, or rather long, eight weeks later, Kylo had sent one final transmission that he was on a shuttle back to the _Finalizer_ after retrieving and returning whatever object he was to have fetched.

Hux was in his office when Kylo returned. Kylo keyed in a code on the door to lock it before turning to Hux. He practically fell into Hux’s lap with his arms around his neck holding him tightly. Hux pressed a kiss to the closest patch of skin he could find. He knocked the cowl back and pulled until it fell to the floor and he could reach Kylo’s neck.

“You’re heavy,” Hux said into his neck.

“Don’t complain.” Kylo put a hand on either side of Hux’s face to bring his face up to kiss him. “You missed me.” Kylo kept pressing long, somewhat wet kisses to Hux’s mouth while Hux kept his arms around his waist. He kept going until a nice red blush blossomed across both of their faces.

“You really are making my legs numb.”

Slowly, not in any rush, Kylo pushed himself up and off Hux’s lap to lean back against the edge of his desk instead. He pulled Hux’s chair towards him and put a foot on either side, the toe of his boots pushed just under Hux’s backside. From this angle, all he had to do was lean forward to catch Hux’s lips.

“Better?” Kylo kissed his forehead. Hux moved his hands to Kylo’s thighs and with a nod, he let his forehead press against Kylo’s torso. Kylo's hands brushed over his hair, barely touching him there, before reaching his neck and clothed shoulders. His hands tightened on his shoulders, a gentle squeeze of reassurance. “Dinner?” Hux nodded against Kylo’s robes. “I have a few other things to do,” Kylo said as he ran a warm hand along the back of Hux’s neck, “Then I’ll be there.”

Hux nodded again before lifting his head for another kiss. Kylo happily obliged him before untangling them and heading out the door.

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate all the kudos, comments, and encouragement. They've actually gotten me to see how sweet this would be, I suppose. Well, I can actually read it to edit it without cringing now. Seriously, thank you all for the support!
> 
> Edit: I don't know how to make this not so repetitive, so it's on hiatus. Partly from that, partly from school. Either way, it's a comfort, yeah, but there's only so much you can do before things become repetitive. So until I get new ideas, there won't be new chapters. If anyone has any ideas, or anything they want done, let me know.


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